User blog:Ultraviolets/DamJ: A New Threat
"Why the hell we are following this couple I will never know!" Million dollar stripper Lizzy sighs. She is watching Walking Dead with Cheese. "Just..start the fucking story I guess. We gotta fangirl over Dixonne." ~~ It has been three months since the new incident with Kaylin. CJ and Damian had adopted a new child, with the name of Ash. She looked nothing like either of them so it was clear she had been adopted. "Dada," Baby Ash says. Damian jumps back. "HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT TALKS!" He screams. "It's a baby aka human duh it talks," CJ says. He rolls his eyes. "So I was thinking we need to visit Get Your Juices Flowing. Mine are kind of backed up." "Sure, we'll go after Baby Ash goes to sleep," Damian answers. A knock on the door is heard. Delia the Shark is heard growling in the back. "I'll get it!" CJ says. He hands Ash to Damian. "Hello?" CJ smiles as he opens the door. His smile soon turns into a look of horror as he realizes who it is. "I FINALLY FOUND YOU!" A blonde woman with tattered clothes wickedly laughs. "It can't be you! I left you years ago!" CJ harshly whispers. He hopes Damian doesn't hear what is going on. He knows who this new psycho is. "Leave, Tori." "You might have left me but I never stopped looking for you. I've hunted you down all these years, waiting for my moment to strike. You're single now, no more Kaylin!" Tori laughs. "CJ, is everything ok?" Damian calls from the kitchen. "Ash fell asleep its ok for us to go now!" "Everything is fine!" CJ calls back. He turns to Tori. "I'm with Damian now. We have a child, you can't date me anymore!" "That child is MINE," Tori smiles, showing her broken teeth. "I put it up for adoption just so you would adopt it! I know you like the back of my hand, CJ. Cam is in on it too. He wants revenge just as bad as me!" "What is with Cam fucking all my exes jfc," CJ asks. "Not my fault they want me!" Cam calls from somewhere in the universe. "CJ, are you sure everything is--" Damian stops as he realizes what was taking CJ so long. "Remember me?" Tori grits her teeth. She wanted to end Damian. He had taken her love. "The crazy bitch? Of course I remember you. Too bad you won't be here for much longer," Damian growls. "What are you gonna do? Kill me?" She sarcastically says. She pushes by CJ to confront Damian. "Precisely," Damian half smiles. He grabs Tori by her hair but it falls out. "EWWWW!!!" CJ squeals, waking up Ash. She starts to cry. Tori gets up and knocks Damian to the ground. She starts to kick him repeatingly. ~~ "HOLD UP! THIS IS WHERE THINGS GET A BIT CRAZY SO BY LAW I'M REQUIRED TO TELL YOU TO STOP READING IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED BY VIOLENCE," Stripper Lizzy says, setting down her booze. "NOW LEAVE ME ALONE, DIXONNE!" ~~ CJ slams the door and punches Tori in the nose. Damian gets up and wipes blood away from his mouth. He puts Tori in a headlock. She headbutts him and bites his arm. He recoils in pain and falls into CJ. "You jerk!" CJ says. He knocks Tori to the ground and pulls her hair. All of it comes off, with her face. CJ starts screaming. "WHY IS THERE NO BLOOD?!" (if you get this reference I give u free lap dance) "Fuck. This wasn't supposed to happen!" A voice says. "Oh my god...." Damian says. "DANI?" "It is me. I impersonated Tori because I wanted you back so bad Damian. I knew I had to get through CJ to get to you." "THANK GOD IT'S NOT JUST ME THAT HAS CRAZY EXES!" CJ happily hollers. He starts twerking. "Please, come back to me," Dani pleads. "No, I have CJ now!" Damian says. "Yeah, bye bitcheso!" CJ says. He blows a kiss to her. "What?" Damian cocks an eyebrow. "Nothing..." CJ sighs. He had failed at making puns. Lizzy always killed him at those. "Dani, leave, now. Go to Annie!" Damian points at the door. "No! I won't leave you!" Dani cries. She jumps into Damian's arms. "Fine," He carries her into the back patio and throws her into the pool. Jaws music plays as Delia the Shark comes up and bites her. Dani starts screaming as Delia the Shark finishes her. "Will we ever get a break?" Damian asks. "Probably not. Now lets go get Ash," CJ responds. They both leave the blood stained patio and get their baby. ~~ "Thank fucking jesus maybe I'll get a break now so I can finally WATCH DIXONNE!" Stripper Lizzy says. "Yeah I know right!" Cheese responds. "DID I FUCKIN SAY TALK?!" Stripper Lizzy yells. She hits Cheese with a block of Cheese. "The fucking end hopefully." ~~ Category:Blog posts